Each of us has our own internal perception of reality - these over all perceptions are made up of our worldviews, our thoughtforms, and-- you guessed it-- our opinions.
One of the most ironic things to me is that in arguments, people seem to look down on others who consider the opponent's point of view or adopt the other person's POV temporarily. It is often said that these people are the ones who "lose" an argument. This is ironic because the person who "loses" probably actually ends up gaining more.
Think about it-- people like to matter and feel like they have an influence, or a position, worth considering and understanding. So, when your opponent shows that interest and consideration of your POV during an argument, you usually end up appreciating and valuing that person a little more for doing so. This often brings good things. However, despite all the positive implications for doing this, it still seems so much more important to us to be seen as right, and people still like to pick apart and find holes in the arguments or claims of others.
What is it about people and being "right" that outshines our desire to grow as a person, or our drive to accept others by showing an interest in something they are clearly passionate about? Is our sense of pride that appealing to us? Because admitting that we could improve ourselves as people or could stand to grow or learn doesn't mean that we aren't already great people, or that we haven't grown.
Is it validation of one's perceived reality? Maybe.. And perhaps our cognitive dissonance in relation to the extreme black and white, this or that rhetoric in today's society is so strong that we are questioning our own validity, or even sanity, more than ever. This makes us feel stressed, angry, and threatened, and we seek that validation externally. If we all didn't feel the need to defend our own realities so hard, we likely wouldn't be as attached to bitterness, grudges and general hate because that feeling of insecurity wouldn't need to be so incessantly compensated for.*
The first thing we need in order to detach from the selfish imposition of the ego is, once again ironically, to believe in ourselves in a healthy, non narcissistic way.
*There are always extreme examples so please remember this and do not automatically take this to the far end.. happens a lot... it's that arguing thing. 😂